Over the weekend, Forward Day by Day posted this (on Facebook):
The Lenten season is a long, slow walk evoking
feelings of darkness, despair, and loneliness. We are confronted with
images that can appall us and make us look away. But it is in the
willingness to stay on this difficult trail that we gain strength for
life. It is by this new strength that we are comforted and have the will
to wait patiently for God. Therein, I pray, lies the answer. In the
end, by God’s strength, I will wait patiently.
What struck me most about this was the "loneliness."
I had never felt that before (during a Lenten journey), but early last week, I did. In fact, I even texted S late one night and expressed some of my feelings, my struggles and summed it up with my feelings of loneliness. In taking on something new, combined with giving something up, I am finding that I am indeed going through all kinds of emotions as I continue to keep faith and trust in God. This is, by far, the most difficult Lenten season I have ever experienced and I can feel myself growing. I still have a long ways to go, though.
Praying for patience is something I learned NOT to do long ago. I do, however, believe that having faith in myself and committing myself to waiting patiently is something I can do. It won't be easy. But, as Philippians 4:13 tells us, "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." So really, the faith in myself comes from my faith in and resulting strength from God. In trusting God, I also have to trust myself. I cannot do it without Him, obviously.
I can do it. You can do it. Let's do it. "In the end, by God's strength, I will wait patiently."
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